one time I overslept and my mom came into my room to wake me up and said “you had better get up or else you’ll be rushing”. I wanted to say “if I’m rushing then so be it” but since I was still half asleep my mind changed “rushing” to “Russian”, I rolled over and said “if I’m Russian, soviet” and to this day it’s the best joke I’ve ever made
*female ex-disney star has nudes leaked*: “ugh what a slut, terrible role model, she’s an idiot, lol disney girls go off the rails”
*male ex-disney star has nudes leaked*: “haha what a dude, can’t believe that bitch leaked them what a betrayal of trust, he’s handling this really well, I have more respect for him now”
My AP Psych teacher from high school keeps binders and notebooks with dicks drawn on them to use as visual aids for the Freudian unit.
One time she did this life changing little “experiment” where she ever so calmly asked guys why they draw penises on things. They tried to say “it’s just funny” or “you don’t understand” and she just kept saying “you’re right, I don’t understand. Explain to me. You already know what a penis looks like, why do you have to draw it on things? Are you marking it? Are you tagging it? Girls don’t draw vaginas on things.” And the guys suddenly started questioning their motives for everything they do and one guy was like “ms, stop talking about penises, you’re making us uncomfortable.” And she shouted “HOW DO YOU THINK WE FEEL SEEING DICKS DRAWN ON STUFF ALL THE TIME?”